Okay, last post to this blog. Now, I'm not sure if anyone actually links here or not...eh....but in case you do, the new blog address is http://www.twistedperspective.com/blogger.html

Yay. That is all.

Holy shit! Porcelain 6 is 18 pages long! (just thought I'd share, since I just finished it) Now! I will edit tomorrow, then send it off for beta-ing, and then it will be posted. Patience will be rewarded, dear reader...okay, well, 8 of you that read this. Or well, we may be down to 6 by now. ::waves::

Cue the lights. Hit the music. I got my laptop back.

Yay.

Okay, so I'm not actually typing this on my laptop, I'm typing this on my dino-computer that was transported to my apartment because without modem I go CRAZY (er). But anyway, I'm transfering files from my old back up disk, loading drivers and programs and mp3s and trying like hell to get it all back The Way It Was. BLECH.

Notice: I lost my address book, so I lost people's email addresses. Josh, if you read this, I'm talking to you. Email me! Your addy is complicated, and I cannot remember it.

Interim college classes rock. More on this later, I'm sure. But yeah, I'm going to be in classes all summer. No rest for me! ::falls over::

Um, okay, now...anything that people care about? oh! Porcelain 6 is going swimmingly. People are starting to arrive, so I get to write their relationships with other characters and different styles of dialogue for them and all sorts of fun stuff. Yay! The subplot is becoming more obvious, but not too obvious just yet. It's not a *big* subplot, just some depth to the story that I wanted to add. This ain't *just* a normal suspence ficcy anymore, I don't suppose. Well, maybe it is. I could be full of shit. It's happened before.

But! I'm excited about this next part. It's at page...13...and I've still got at least 4 pages left to write. Big part. Character development and such, though, so it's all good. Stuff will happen, don't worry. I know that the last part was kind of dry. But hey! I needed to get that info in there somehow or another, and I wasn't about to short change it. Oh, hey, you'll finally find out the year that the fic takes place. The time has come to let that info out. Mwha! It's good to have a Master Plan. Now, in a few more parts...wait. I need to shut up.

Anyway, I've got class tomorrow, so I need to sleep. G'night, all.

Well, my laptop crashed. Sucks. I lost everything. Sucks. I have a backup disk from last month. That's good. I have to use the ancient computer from my parents' house in the meantime. Sucks.

BLAH!

I feel better today.

you know it's strange that the sight of my blood and the bite of the razor blade can stop my tears. funny that. what the fuck is wrong with me? i'm all alone. alone. there's no one here but me.

but now i can't cry anymore. i'm trying, but i can't. the blood has even clotted in my cuts, so what the hell am i supposed to do now? shit. i don't know. i don't do drugs, i don't drink, i don't fuck. so what's left for me? nothing. how fitting. how fucking fitting.

i'm sorry. this is not exactly cheerful, is it? the dark is starting to get to me again. i should go now...take a shower or something...there's nothing for me to do...nowhere for me to go. shit. this is pathetic. surprise!

g'night. i'm going to sleep. maybe the morning will be bright.

there's blood running down my ankles and my upper arms

i had a bad day

i wish i were dead

but this is all i'm going to do about it

i would do more

but i'm a fucking coward

::kicks blog::

http://raygunworks.net/thecontest.html

Yeah, there's a ton of contests out right now. Like three? There's Hatsukoi, the 1x2 one, the one above, and that other one...Shiai...yeah, that's how you spell it. What's with a bunch of contests all going at once? And all during finals? Stress! (hey, by the way, on the one that's linked above, you! get to vote on the best overall story category...which Cadence is entered in...so if you HONESTLY think Cadence is better than the other stories, then please take the time to vote for it. Be honest, though! Please don't just vote because you think I'm a nice (ha!) person. Thank you, drive thru!)

Contests are weird. See, I have this complex. I want to be *in* contests, but my complete lack of confidence doesn't let me enter anything on my own. I'd jsut feel so fucking arrogant going, "This is my story and I'm entering because I think it's better than these other stories!" I honestly don't think stories can be compared to each other, because every work is different. If a story is good enough to be read, then that's enough for me...being "better" than another person's work is stupid. Well, not really stupid, but it's arbitrary. It's all in the mind of the reader, ya know? Just like art is in the eye of the beholder, every work is supposed to mean something different, have different ends or goals. That's why we have smut stories, deep stories, scifi stories, all different kinds. Or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass here and taking things too seriously. I don't know. I just feel woefully inadequate at times. I'll read something that someone else writes and go, "Shit, that's fucking awesome. I would never ever in a million years have wrote that. But then, they never would have wrote [fill in the blank with one of my story's names] either. They don't have my sort of fucked up style. I don't have theirs. It doesn't mean that either of us is better or worse. But *damn* I wish my writing was that fucking awesome."

Therefore, I wait for other people to nominate me. They usually do, so I'm cool. ^_^;;;; ::massive massive massive sweatdrop::

Basically, I have no confidence. I suck. Or at least, I think I do...which isn't good, considering writing is my life's ambition. My life's ambition is something I have no confidence in. How pathetic.

I should not be writing in this blog. I should be working on my criminal justice paper.

Anyway!

I've been really quiet lately, and I haven't been able to write anything. Why? Because college is the devil. Oh well, whatever. I just have had a lot of work to do. I'm sure many more people have a hell of a lot more to do than me, I'm just pathetic. Fuck it. I don't care. I just thought I'd give that public service announcement. I've muddled around, though, doing minor things here and there that don't take up too much time or brain power. I haven't been able to read much of anything because of class work, so I can't do much else at the moment.

I'm revising/editing Cadence, and I may post it to Gw-fan as a "hi! this is me!" intro thing before I sink back in to lurkage. Whatever. I don't know. I can revise stuff that I've already written, but I can't concentrate on writing new stuff. My brain is fried. Fzzzzzz....
...
I'm in a weird mood today, all lethargic and mash potato-y. Maybe it's because I had instant mash potatoes for lunch/breakfast? You are what you eat, right? So am I mashed potatoes? ::horror!::

See, weird mood.


I should go work on my criminal justice paper. yes. i will. stop laughing. i really will! okay, now i'm laughing...

Nanashi: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction Contest

Hey! Check it out! Nanashi will have a horror category this year! ::cheers:: Finally!

Just thought I'd share. See, more than one person (maybe 4 or 5...?...) actually went out of their way to email me saying that they wished there was a horror category because they felt stuff like "Drums" didn't really fit with the other one-shots. They (the 4 or 5 people) said they requested a horror category for this coming year. I know *I* requested a horror category. I wonder if any of that had anything to do with it showing up? Maybe I'm just being stupid? Or maybe it's because, well, a year and a half ago, there wasn't nearly as many horror stories coming out as there are now, and therefore since the trend is started, it just got added naturally? Of course, it was about a year and a half ago that I joined the GW fandom, so I could be looking at this with a skewed perspective since I started out writing horror (Nightmare, first fic, yadda yadda yadda). I'd have to ask someone who's been around longer. Hey, anyone who reads this that's been around longer than I have, is this the case? Has the trend went up? I dunno, but I'm glad that there are more horror/supernatural stories out there. I mean, we've got the classics of the fandom (Maxwell's Demon by Madam Hydra, Acherontia Atropos by Katsu no Miko, to name just a couple of excellent, super well-known ones; those were among the first two GW fics I read) but now we've got whole contests devoted to the horror genre...like the Terror Unknown contest run by VLG...of course, that's multi fandom, but hey, you catch my drift, right? Or maybe I'm hallucinating, simply because that's just what I end up reading more often than not. Feedback on this, people? Maybe on the neglected little message board? (Scroll up, you'll see the link)

Moving along...

Hm. I must say, I wasn't expecting much feedback on Porcelain 5, considering the lack of action, but damn, man, I've gotten...not a lot. It's weird to stretch my literary legs on "realistic" violence and angst instead of sci-fi or supernatural stuff, and here I am with no idea if I'm doing a good or a bad job. Oh well, I shall assume that I'm not sucking until someone tells me otherwise. (I hope I don't receive an email in ten minutes that just says, "YOU SUCK!" because I may burst into a ball of blue flame. I'd like a reason for why I suck, at least. ^_~) Anyway, rambling off topic here. Le sigh. Oh well, it's incentive to work even harder on the next part, eh? ::grin:: Yay! I get to write Dorothy! I love Dorothy. She's awesome. And Mariemeia! And Hilde! And Sylvia (her fiancé and his sister, too. i get to create them officially!)! And Rashid! And...uh...I don't feel like getting my outlines out, so everyone else! Yay!

OH! I just watched Yami no Matsuei! I love that series! I must watch it again, like, tomorrow. Expect me to write something for it eventually, maybe a crossover with another series I haven't written yet...like Weiss Kreuz or Gravitation. (I need to see all of Weiss before I write for it, though, so that'll be a ways off, but since I've seen all of Gravitation...thanks to the wonderful Snow Tigra!...mwha...) Speaking of...I want to write something odd for Gravitation. I swear, that fandom is full of lovely fluff, extremely wonderfully written angst (romance, romance, romance...and smut, too (notcomplainingwinkwinknudgenudgesaynomore)), and a few Ryuiichi-as-split-personality-fics scattered in liberally. Of course, it's still a small fandom, and the quality of most fics is excellent, but I want some more variety. So maybe I'll *make* some variety for myself. Keeping people in character, of course. (That should go without saying) And not going terribly beyond the bounds of the presented show, either. (duh) Something just a little bit different...::grin:: Something...mildly creepy...something only implied....hehe....of course, I *did* have that great and wildly supernatural idea about Tachi. I love Tachi. He's my favorite character. The poor guy just got a bum rap, ya know? Sure, he didn't react well (he reacted quite bastardly, in fact, but I'm trying to stay vague in case anyone hasn't seen the series) but hey, I still like him. I understand his motivations, even if I don't agree with his actions.

But anyway, back to Yami no Matsuei. I've decided that Muraki is my favorite villain of all time. I mean it. He just topped all other villains, even The Strangers from "Dark City." The man is AWESOME. He's so fucking twisted! I love him. I do!

Um. I should go to bed now. I'm tired.

Hmm....Adrenaline....Hmm....Ignore me. I have a one shot idea.